Got you some polls! You’re welcome. This time, I want to pry into your sex life.
Life is all about individuality, especially when it comes to sex, where one person’s wiring, physical and mental health, upbringing, gender, and attitudes all add up and create the differentials that make one person a gang-banging hedonist and another person a straight-laced monogamist. Still, there are some things that all adults do alone together, gay or straight or bi, devout or atheistic, that unite us in sexual sameness. All sexually active adults make the same types of choices and enjoy the same kind of intimacy when it comes to foreplay, intercourse, and oral sex.
The sameness goes down to the human core. To have sex, we all expose our genitals to each other and we try to give and/or receive thrilling feelings. We all experiment and modify our sexual behavior too in hopes of figuring out what kinds of touches, kisses, and intensity give us the most pleasure. And the majority of us rely on one of four basic acts to bring ourselves or our partners to orgasm — vaginal sex, anal penetration, oral sex or manual stimulation (i.e., a hand-job). This includes hardcore fetishists who need their fetish to be present yet typically masturbate or have straight-up sex to get the over the top. Even if you’ve got your partner in chains while you’re doing it, you are still doing it.
So for all the natural diversity, and all the toys we use and games we play, we can still point to this specific range of four behaviors that are the common go-to orgasmic behaviors for humans. In my book, Sex for Grown-Ups, I define the big four as MOVA, which stands for manual stimulation, oral sex, vaginal sex and anal sex. (Or MOA, for gay men who do not have vaginal sex.)
MOVA/MOA are universal equalizers. We all do these common acts, and when we do it, we all make the same choices, as our brains and bodies direct us to pursue similar sensual paths that will bring us to orgasmic relief. So whether you’re in Tokyo or Topeka tonight, if you “have sex”, it will look pretty much the same. It will smell pretty much the same too, as hormones and secretions are identical in all human beings. Your sex will even sound the same — gasps and moans and then the groans of fulfillment and ecstasy are the same in all languages. No matter where you are in the world, you will always recognize the loud sounds of love-making and the furtive whispers and cries when you hear them. It’s a beautiful thing because it’s such a human thing. You can’t get any realer than two lovers enmeshed in naked passion.
But within MOVA/MOA there are still tiny differentials, and that’s what the polls are all about. So check out the polls and don’t worry if you aren’t as experienced as some people — there are answers available for everyone, so even if you aren’t sexually active you can still take an inside peek at what other people are doing in bed.
Get ready to get raw, though. I pose some very personal questions, like do you expect to get kissed before you fuck? Would you rather take it in the ass or is oral more your style? How far do you take your anal sex? Can you get off from a handie? Answer my 10 questions and don’t worry if you aren’t as experienced as some people — there are answers available for everyone, so even if you aren’t sexually active you can still take an inside peek at what other people are doing in bed.
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