Big dicks, hung hunks — we’ve all googled those terms. Unless I am the only one who has hunted down monster cock for purely scientific research purposes…? Nahhh!
Yet, the giant D is as hot as is it rare. Only 15% of all men have organs larger than 7 inches and just a tiny 2% are bigger than 8 inches, as documented in a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, which also showed that an average penis is just over 5 inches when hard. So if you take average to mean “norm,” a 5 incher is the most “normal” type of penis to have.
If only all sexual minorities were admired this much! It seems that most men wish they had a whopper instead of the organ that came with their DNA. Sometimes it’s because they think they’d get more romantic traction if they were built bigger, or worry that their partner won’t think they’re “big enough.” Just as often, it’s because they themselves feel they would be sexier to themselves if they could swing a load of meat like a porn star.
People gape at porn-star penis and culture makes them feel inadequate for not measuring up. Add the two together and everyone except science seems to agree that a bigger dick is sexier, more desirable and makes a man more manly. It’s a virtual obsession on the Internet these days. We think it’s a compliment to tell someone they’re “hung like a horse.” Or maybe we blurt it out in moments of lust, I can’t remember. Still. It sounds like a compliment but the biological realities of a larger-than-average penis tell sex scientists quite a different tale.
A smaller penis is a sexual advantage
Science turns a cold shoulder to what people think they should have. Science knows, for example, that if someone was hung like a horse, he’d risk killing his human partners. Science knows the human penis evolved exactly right to be fully effective, capable of having numerous orgasms every day, able to shoot over a billion sperm a month. The reason an average penis is about 5 inches long during full erection is because that is the perfect range for efficient performance with the largest number of partners.
If bigger penises were an advantage anywhere outside the human imagination, we’d be super-schlonged as a species. But there is no biological reason or evolutionary advantage for penises to be bigger. Sometimes, in fact, the bigger the dick, the bigger the problems. Physically speaking, you are actually better off with 4 inches than 8 inches.
I don’t want to mess up your divine fantasies. But when it comes actual sexual functionality, smaller is better. So here are three reasons to start seeing why less is more when it comes to penis size
BIG PENIS, BIG PENETRATION PROBLEMS
Guys with 6 inches or less can literally partner with anyone and have successful penetrative sex. Their penis was designed to be easily insertable into the largest number of adults. It fits comfortably into the adult vagina and the anus too. Best of all, when it’s smaller, a man can maneuver it better inside the vagina and deliver stimulation to the most sensitive vaginal tissues by changing strokes.
I’ve had three clients over the years whose sex lives with their wives ground to a halt because the women complained of pain or discomfort. All three men were also upset because it embarrassed them to think they were hurting them. In one case, it made the man swear off penetration. His frustration was through the roof but he felt refraining was the only gentlemanly thing to do under the circumstances.
Google it and you’ll find first-person accounts from other men with big dicks complaining they can’t fully penetrate partners, along with some who dealt with humiliating rejections when they removed their pants and women freaked out. Yeah, it looks so sexy on the Internet but in real life, most women want to be able to walk the next day.
For people who do not like pain with their penetration, a larger-than-average penis (7 1/2 inches or more fully erect) can be a sensual challenge, especially if the woman has a petite build. While vaginal tissue expands during intercourse, to allow for full penetration, over 7 inches can be longer than the vaginal canal itself, and bump the uber-sensitive cervix during sex, a howlingly painful experience for women. Women with anxieties or sex-negativity may come to fear being penetrated altogether and stop their sex lives. A more efficient (i.e., normal-range) penis can give more women more and better orgasms if the man knows how to move it.
Women don’t need more than 3 inches of penetration to have orgasms.
I have never talked to anyone who quit having sex, divorced or broke up with someone, or rejected someone nice because their penis was too small. Instead, I’ve talked to tons of women who say they are fine with average, prefer average and have great orgasms with men who are average to small. Maybe it’s because the guys really know how to move their penis around. Maybe it’s because the woman feels more relaxed and is guaranteed a smooth, pain-free ride. Or perhaps it’s because women don’t need more than 3 inches of penetration to have orgasms.
Here’s a little vagina news for you: the most pleasurable, orgasm-inducing part of the vagina are the first 2-3 inches into the canal. The clit and the surrounding tissues leading to and then inside the vaginal canal have the highest concentration of nerve endings and pleasure-receptors. That is why oral sex and finger-fucking can make a woman cum more successfully than a penis can. (In fact, some women don’t need penetration at all to cum, but that’s another article.) My point: you don’t need to penetrate deeper to give a woman satisfying orgasms if you know how to use your penis — or hands or mouth or toy.
While people may dream of packing 8 or 9″ of thick meat, in reality, finding people who can accept that size is a challenge unless your partners have already worked up the skill to take you in comfortably, were born with equally capacious vaginas, or actually enjoy a little pain with their penetration.
Some people do like some pain. I call it penetration masochism — the desire to feel pain, stretching, “stuffing” or aching during vaginal or anal penetration. It’s a ubiquitous fantasy, not limited to kinky people. A lot of men fantasize about hurting someone with their mighty swords and a lot of women and men fantasize about being their victims, whether it’s a rape fantasy or a giant penis fantasy or, most commonly, both at the same time. This incredibly common form of sexual masochism hasn’t been studied so I won’t even speculate whether that impulse comes from sex-negative culture or something in our DNA.
SMALLER PENIS, BETTER BLOW JOBS
It may look sexy to see tiny people nibble on big rods on the Internet but how do you think it feels to the nibbled upon? I’ve known several men who felt eternally deprived of ever getting a truly satisfying blowjob because their girlfriends and wives couldn’t go down on too far before gagging. Meanwhile, one of my clients got TMJ (Temporomandibular joint dysfunction) from too much enthusiastic oral sex to a partner with a huge build.
No matter how good you are giving a blow-job, a guy with a giant penis may never get to see you at your best. Warning: Choking Hazard! You likely won’t be able to deep-throat him unless you have the talents of a sword-swallower and worked on relaxing your throat muscles. Even then, your teeth may scrape the skin of his penis and leave abrasions. Your jaw may start hurting a few minutes in. If his penis is as big around as it is long, you may barely be able to fit the head and couple of inches of meat in your mouth. The rest of the action is licking up and down. Getting really good suction going is unlikely.
So again, a smaller penis wins the category for best biological design for oral sex too. The head fits easily into the adult mouth, and, with a little practice, you can usually pull most if not all of it in the mouth for a deep suck.
NORMAL ORGAN, NORMAL LIFE
Some of the most common complaints you hear from guys with huge penises
- Condoms don’t fit.
- Your penis may dunk in the toilet water when sitting on the seat.
- Women are afraid to have sex with you.
- People objectify you.
- You have to get pants tailored to fit and/or hide.
- Unwanted advances and feeling sexually used.
- Abuse and nonsensual touching in youth.
- Smirks and wisecracks from friends and strangers.
What else makes life perplexing and difficult for men with really big organs? Sometimes, their penises mess up their minds in ways that normal people can barely understand.
Men who fit in the small/normal range (4″ to 6″) do not express anxiety that women only love them for their penis. It just doesn’t factor in because they know they are average people with average bodies. It’s different for men who are unusually large. Some of them worry that people don’t really want them for their qualities as people but because they are intrigued by their penis. To deter unwanted attention, or feel properly concealed for work, they spend hours at stores trying on pants that disguise their size or opt for special tailoring to avoid unwanted attention.
I cringe to remember one guy at my old Wall St. company. Whenever he walked passed the secretarial pool, excited whispers and giggles passed from desk to desk like a contagion. Girls phoned each other to spread the news, “Elephant Boy is coming!” I noticed that his suit pants were cut with extra pleats so that the fabric almost bowed out in front to hide his package. Didn’t matter. When he strode past, everyone could see his enormous appendage flop side to side, taking the fabric with it like a sail. Aside from his remarkable bulge, he himself was a very unpleasant, unattractive guy — none of the women would have given him a second glance if not for the elephant in the room in his pants. I hate to think he heard their comments, because they were dehumanizing and hurtful.
DNA is not fair. Not everyone wants to be a porn star and make a living off the genetic anomaly that gave them a large penis. It may sound hot in fantasy but in reality, men whose genitals aren’t giving them the joy they should have and are being objectified by culture at large feel demeaned. It triggers shame and confusion over whether people love them as human beings or mainly want to use them as sex toys. More than a few of them were either the object of teasing or jokes in their youth, and some of them were molested by adults, often older girls or women, who exploited their naivete to get to their meat. All of these things create stress, shame and weird psychological issues.
The most extraordinary case of big-dickosis I ever witnessed was the time I had dinner with the guy who bills himself as having the world’s biggest dick. This was long ago, before he was famous. One of my besties told me he had met a young guy with a whale-sized dick. He said he felt like a young boy in bed next to this 21 year old because he was so unusually large. He just wasn’t sure about the guy’s personality and asked me to come along on their next date so I could tell him what I thought of him.
Now, I don’t know if Jonah really has the world’s biggest penis because we haven’t been going around asking for volunteers to get measured to see if there might be someone out there who can beat his record. But he is definitely built. I know because when I got to the restaurant and my friend waved me over, Jonah was wearing jeans that showed it all off. In other words, it was impossible to miss how well-hung he was. As soon as I got to them, he said, “I saw you were staring at my crotch. Don’t worry,” he looked around the room, “Everyone here is checking me out. They’ve all been staring at my crotch the whole time.” I politely looked around the room. No one was checking him out. After that awkward intro, the conversation strayed to other topics — the size of his penis, how well it worked, how other people reacted to his penis, and more penis talk.
Despite valiant efforts by my bestie to change the subject, Jonah never stopped talking about his penis for the next two hours. My bestie was so mortified, he kept silently mouthing apologies to me as he watched the future of his relationship with Jonah crash and burn. At some point, my eyes just glazed over as I realized distracting Jonah from his appendage was futile. So I focused on my french fries and pondered why so many of the men I’d met who had gigantic schlongs also had gigantic psychological problems.
Be grateful for what you have. Learn to make the most of it by natural means — exercise, good health habits, cutting down on booze, promoting blood flow, and watching your weight. It’s estimated that for every extra 30 pounds a man carries buries his penis shaft by about an inch. If you have 90 extra pounds on you, your penis may look up to 3 inches shorter than it really is because of the surrounding fat pad. Get busy taking care of the body you have and get the maximum performance out of your normal build.
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