50 Shades of Lidocaine: Meet Promescent

Naturally, sex therapists think about problems & dysfunctions quite a bit.   The life of a sex therapist is never dull because we spend a portion of our days thinking about genital problems and dysfunctions and how to fix them. It leads to intellectual curiosity and wonderment about sex that sends us on strange trajectories….


Sex-Negative Culture Is a Threat to Civilization

We often hear about the so-called dangers of progressive attitudes towards sex. Certain shady elements who shall go unnamed (but who write and blog for conservative sites) are wailing that our society is too sexy, too hedonistic, too sensitive to minority voices and our permissiveness will somehow bring an end to civilization. They spin every…


Hack a Home Dungeon Tonight

Ideas to warm up a kinky winter’s night without leaving home or spending money.     There’s a reason people love a dungeon atmosphere at clubs and parties. It feels special to enter a space where so many different erotic fantasies can be fulfilled. The atmosphere itself seems to give people the permission they need to…


Take A Self-Enlightenment Challenge in 2018

“Make any New Year’s Resolutions?” Hmph! It’s the most annoying question ever. Most of us can barely keep them going past January. Let’s face it: if we were really resolved about changing our lives, we wouldn’t need New Year’s resolutions in the first place. I cringe when people make hollow promises to themselves. It almost…


The State of the BDSM Communities Report

The first State of the BDSM Communities survey ended on January 5. As promised, I’m back to give you the data and short analyses of what the 10 questions revealed. At the end of the results, there is a general round-up of the survey itself, plus constructive criticism submitted by voters who felt other issues and problems should…


BDSM Builds Tools for Ecstasy and Intimacy in BDSMers. Here’s How.

I’ve asked thousands of people this question: “What is it about BDSM that keeps you wanting more?” It’s a more difficult question than my other coy conversation starter, “Why do you think you’re a BDSMer?” People have tons of theories about WHY they are into BDSM in the first place. They were born that way, or…


The State of the BDSM Communities: Survey

It would be so cool to know how things are trending for BDSMers, publically, privately, and politically. Like — are people playing more or less since Trump got elected? Are BDSMers more worried about con artists or dwindling educational resources? How many of us tried something — or someone — new in 2017? What do you…


Ask Gloria: Why Do Men Sexually Exploit Women?

Trigger warning to abuse survivors: I talk about the real stuff here.   No matter where you surf these days, you are bound to find fierce discussions about male sexual harassment and molestation. Since the #MeToo movement exploded on social media, the public is finally catching up on the facts. Stranger danger (an assault by…


5 Cliches About BDSM That BDSMers Should Stop Repeating

Myths, lies, and cliches about BDSM. When will they end? A good first step would be if BDSMers didn’t repeat them. It’s a problem. After 30+ years in the Scene, it’s painfully obvious to me that BDSMers still buy into cliches that they once heard at a class or read in a book without examining…


The smartest device for your sexual health: UVee

  With the growing public concern about all kinds of bacteria and virii and flesh-eating zombie bugs (not a clinical term 😉 ) that can turn your life into a horror movie, sexual hygiene is more important today than ever in human history — and that means not just keeping our genitals fit and healthy but…