The smartest device for your sexual health: UVee


With the growing public concern about all kinds of bacteria and virii and flesh-eating zombie bugs (not a clinical term 😉 ) that can turn your life into a horror movie, sexual hygiene is more important today than ever in human history — and that means not just keeping our genitals fit and healthy but properly cleaning anything we use on or in them.

Proper sanitation of sex toys prevents transmission of infectious diseases like chlamydia and syphilis, Hep B and Hep C

According to the UK’s National Health Service, proper sanitation of sex toys prevents transmission of infectious diseases like chlamydia and syphilis, Hep B and Hep C, and will help prevent bacterial infections. That list should also include infecting oneself — like accidentally sticking an unwashed butt toy into a vaginal cavity. Put another way, Clean Toys = Healthier Bodies.

I recently came across an elegant solution to the toy-cleaning conundrum. Women-owned Clean Light Laboratories has invented a super cool UVee light storage system specifically for sex toys. Using a tried-and-true scientific method — the same new technology that’s being used to sterilize medical and tattoo equipment– the UVee effectively destroys 99.9% of germs on toys. The process, called Ultraviolet Light Sterilization, is an environmentally safe way to kill STIs, bacteria, mold, fungi, and viruses. No more harsh soaps or chemicals solutions. UVee won’t corrode metal, won’t leave a chemical residue. It’s a big WOW for every sexually playful adult.



My unit arrived in a strong cardboard box. Inside was a professionally packaged and printed box that looked like any other health or medical appliance you’d pick up at a Walgreen’s or CVS. Even the print on the box doesn’t give away its secrets, focusing instead on its benefits as a light storage system. Completely discreet!

The unit itself is made of strong stuff. A sharp knock showed me this was made to last and not some flimsy material that will crack. Another nice feature: each UVee unit has a combination lock built in. Great for parents! Once you lock it, minors, nosy relatives, cleaning people, and other curious visitors cannot open the box without the combination. Right away, that impressed me. It’s very thoughtful and, for some of us, very necessary to ensure that our toys will remain concealed from prying eyes.

The unit itself looks like a cross between a smart briefcase and an old-fashioned typewriter box. It’s black and sleek and looks expensive and mysterious. Here is a look at its clean lines. You can see the combo lock in front. There is a simple removable cord with a transformer so you can plug it into any (American-style) wall outlet.



I love the little indicator light in the corner along with the 3 digit combination lock! It’s discreet enough to hide and keeps the box locked. Perfect for traveling and staying at hotels 🙂


Charge and clean at the same time!


As shown on their site, the box comes in two sizes: one for travel (the GO Play unit — on left, below) and a bigger one for your bedroom (HOME Play – on right, below). Of course, I had to get the HOME play for all my treasures. The larger unit has 3 charging stations and a vacuum-sealed outlet for the Hitachi Magic Wand rechargeable wall unit. The GO Play unit has 1 charging system and room for one big vibrator and small toys. The silent operation guarantees you don’t need to worry about weird buzzes or pings.

Though you’d probably want to wipe off any goo, stains or stickiness before you put your toy in for sanitation, whatever goes in will come out germ-free thanks to the sterilizing light.



We loaded ours up with a range of insertables, thanks to the merry cooperation of Ketzl, our resident sex toy monster.



Ooh, such a big basket! Just 10 minutes in the box and her toys were all shiny and clean — and maybe even cleaner than when we first got them. From now on, all new toys will bask in the light before going to dark places and will go back in after sex for the quick clean-up. The portable box only needs 5 minutes and the bigger one 10 minutes, to get the job done.

Extra bonus: if you have a busy night, you can use the box during breathing spaces to repeatedly clean and then reuse your toys without having to stop what you’re doing. Just flip that insertable in, clean, and repeat your fun all over again.

I’d love to have an entire closet like this for all the esoterica I’ve collected over the years. This is the best innovation in sexual health I’ve seen, and one that addresses the direct needs of the average toy-buying consumer. True, you can’t toss your leather boots in there, but it is big enough for most whips and penis toys and all but astounding-sized insertables. You can even multipurpose it and toss in your toothbrushes and other intimate smalls that would benefit by 99.9% reduction in germs. These days, it’s a really wonderful way to up your safety game.

All three Brames — Will, Ketzl and I — love this thing. The science is irrefutable. The Mother/daughter company story is sweet. The design is brilliant. And the sexual health benefits are awesome.