Q: Why would a couple consider getting premarital sex counseling?
The chief benefit is that if there’s a hint of sexual problems or conflicts, a sex therapist can resolve the issues and help them create a more solid foundation to their marriage. Counseling can answer any concerns or questions they may have about their sex lives and prepare them for the challenges of married sex, not just as it is this year but what to expect after the honeymoon ends, when pregnancy comes, as our bodies age, and how to continue to have great sex throughout the marriage no matter what changes or obstacles appear.
Q: What do people talk about in premarital sex counseling?
For some people, it’s an early, marriage-saving intervention. Couples who have already had conflicts or jealousies while dating may be able to avert more serious fights that could hurt the marriage down the road. Sexually inexperienced couples greatly benefit by getting reliable, comforting advice on what to expect, along with tips on techniques for foreplay, good positions for orgasm, and any sex acts they might like to explore (oral, anal, or something else). Similarly, if there are issues like guilt or trauma, or medical issues like disability or medications that lower sex drive, it’s good to get the facts out on the table to develop strategies for a satisfying sex life.
Generally speaking, any two people who need to build better communication skills around their sexual concerns and needs will grow from a frank and nonjudgmental conversation with a trained sexologist, who can answer any and all questions about how to improve their intimacy today and for years to come.
Q: Who are the best candidates for premarital sex counseling?
Every adult may benefit from a conversation with a sexologist, because most every adult has little secrets to share, confessions to make, and questions to ask when it comes to sex. If you are planning to spend your life with someone else, it’s important to get a handle on your own potential to be a good sex partner.
someone with unresolved sex or gender issues that are interfering with intimacy
someone who was molested or traumatized and is still haunted by it
someone who communicates poorly or not at all about sex
someone with unusual fantasies or fetishes who needs to reach a place of peace before marriage
someone with disabilities, health issues or weight challenges that interfere with sex would benefit greatly by getting some guidance on techniques to maximize pleasure
The best thing about sex therapy is that really every adult can learn new things regardless of age or experience.
- Gloria’s advice on pre-marital counseling was featured in the October 2016 issue of Brides Magazine